Why I stopped my phone notifications

In 2019 I decided to turn off my notifications, which was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Let me be clear: I still have notifications for phone calls and messages. The ones that I turned off were for all social media and apps.

Social Media

I am a millennial - I like my phone and social media and made great virtual connections, and some of them turned into meaningful friendships in real life, mainly because of those apps. But there was something that bothered me whenever I was out with friends. This sound or vibration or even light when someone receives a notification. His mind goes somewhere else the moment this notification rings. The way the person in front of you couldn't resist and would pick up his phone and act like he was still listening to you, but both of you subconsciously knew this was impossible.

FOMO

Most of the time, when you receive a notification, your dopamine goes up. Maybe it's that one text response that you are waiting for, the like of a person on your new IG post, or just all the likes you receive every minute, one by one, like a drug that keeps you alive and happy. Or at least that's how you feel, how I felt when that sound rang and after that - nothing, emptiness, boredom, FOMO.

I don't think there's a person that hasn't felt or know what FOMO is (maybe only Stoics) but let's repeat it - the fear of missing out and, as cringe as it sounds, this is a reality for many of us using social media. And that fear is taking a lot, leaving aside the anxiety and stress. It takes your time. And to be more specific, it takes control of the time you have.

What we lose

Those are not just buzzwords that I read on the internet. Those were my feelings, even if I didn't want to admit them back then.

Until I got bothered a hundred times by someone else who didn't listen to me because of his phone and notifications, and at this moment, I realized not only that this was annoying but that I made someone else feel the same too many times. And when you look at that notification, which is not what you expected, you break the flow of the conversation with the other person. You started thinking about why it's not the notification you were hoping for, and now you and the person in front of you lost the specialness of being present.

When notifications stopped

Oh, boy, the beginning was funny to watch from aside. I pick up my phone whenever I hear a sound like mine or a vibration. Again and again. And after a few days, I did it a little less. After a month, I would prick up my ears, but I would almost immediately know it was not me. And at one moment, I forgot what this sound was a reference for. And when this moment came, I felt free. I felt in control.

Of course, most of my friends still get notifications and get distracted. And this is something else that I learned - not to be bothered so much, because yeah, it is not cool to stop listening to someone to see a notification that probably doesn't have any meaningful value. Still, I am the one who is present and not only for the other person but for myself.

Conclusion

After four years of stopping my notifications, I decide when to open the app so I could see who liked something and who wrote me a DM or comment. And it feels nice.

NB: I am not religiously saying, "You should stop your notifications if you want control over your life!" but in my case, this was a game-changer, and I would recommend trying at least for some apps that are not so important or business-related.